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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The 12 Fails of Christmas

     (Sing to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”) 

On the first day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the second day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the third day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, rooster-printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, used unscented candles, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, Zamfir pan flute 8-tracks, used unscented candles, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, psyllium fiber capsules, Zamfir pan flute 8-tracks, used unscented candles, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, orthopaedic sandals, psyllium fiber capsules, Zamfir pan flute 8-tracks, used unscented candles, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, hot pink lawn flamingos, orthopaedic sandals, psyllium fiber capsules, Zamfir pan flute 8-tracks, used unscented candles, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, advice from Bernie Madoff, hot pink lawn flamingos, orthopaedic sandals, psyllium fiber capsules, Zamfir pan flute 8-tracks, used unscented candles, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my in-laws gave to me, a Peace Corps application, advice from Bernie Madoff, hot pink lawn flamingos, orthopaedic sandals, psyllium fiber capsules, Zamfir pan flute 8-tracks, used unscented candles, YARD SALE UNDERWEAR, some books I’ve never heard of, rooster printed dish towels, a coat ’cause I’m hot-natured, and a sweater that’s 3 sizes too small.

© Bertha Grizzly 2011.  All Rights Reserved.  No duplication or distribution.

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